My name is Kyle Christian Steele and before I took my first breath, death tried to take me. The world I was born into was not traditional according to the "standard image." My mother was a young catholic school girl from a blue-collar family. My father was a Corvette driving kingpin who owned clubs and earned a substantial living from the streets. I had the perfect blend of ultra-morality, hustler and street stamped onto my DNA.
By the time I was 6, my innocence was taken from me and by 7, I felt abandon and unheard.
People moved in and out of my life throughout my childhood. Relationships never seemed stable.
In high school I was a poor kid from the hood of Detroit. Surrounded by the rich and elite, I felt self conscious, inferior, unaccepted and misunderstood.
During my second semester of college, I reacted wrong to my racist roommate. I allowed him to get the best of me. One week later, I stood at "parade rest" in front of the VMI general committee and felt helpless as they kick me out of school. I loved VMI but no one spoke up for me during that trial. I was alone. I didn't know what to do.
Anger towards my father consumed every molecule of me. He was always suppose to be there and I hated him with gnashing teeth for not standing with me. I never invited him to my college graduation and didn't speak to him for 8 years.
I made my first $100,000 by the time I was 24. A big shot who was outwardly living the dream but inside, I was hurting and selfishness, unkindness and inpatients rode shotgun with me. The more I made, the emptier I felt. To fill the void, I sought the comfort of women. I knew early on that it was a woman's nature to give everything but unfortunately the gift would never be returned. They loved me at 11PM because I promised everything but by 3AM, they hated me because I was finished and now promised nothing.
No one loved me but everyone loved the illusion of me. At least that's what I thought.
One night, I stepped out onto the balcony of the loft I built from the ground up with a half drunk bottle of premium vodka in my hand. I gazed at the flickering Windsor skyline that sat on the banks of the Detroit river and I realized my business was ruined and life was quickly crumbling. Overcome with anguish, I crashed to the ground and contemplated ending everything. The illusion was gone and the emptiness I felt was too heavy.
LIFE
In my mist of my most intense anguish and tears, He sat next to me.
He: Why are you crying?
Me: Who are you?
He: Kyle, I'm the one sitting next to you.
Me: Who the fuck are you?
Then He leaned over and whispered into my ear and from that moment, I put all my hope on the truth of His words and promise. He told me these things:
We all have dark spots and sometimes our lives do not go according to plan. I want you to know it's normal, you don't have to be ashamed and the imperfect you is awesome and loved. Things have and will get shaky at times but don't look to the right or to the left. Instead, keep your eyes locked forward and on the truth and the light which guides and illuminates your path. Ignore the lie and allow the decay to nourish your life.
Kyle Christian Steele
No one loved me but everyone loved the illusion of me. At least that's what I thought.
One night, I stepped out onto the balcony of the loft I built from the ground up with a half drunk bottle of premium vodka in my hand. I gazed at the flickering Windsor skyline that sat on the banks of the Detroit river and I realized my business was ruined and life was quickly crumbling. Overcome with anguish, I crashed to the ground and contemplated ending everything. The illusion was gone and the emptiness I felt was too heavy.
LIFE
In my mist of my most intense anguish and tears, He sat next to me.
He: Why are you crying?
Me: Who are you?
He: Kyle, I'm the one sitting next to you.
Me: Who the fuck are you?
Then He leaned over and whispered into my ear and from that moment, I put all my hope on the truth of His words and promise. He told me these things:
- Death tried to take me as unborn child because he knew I would become a significant enemy.
- My mother was afraid, lonely and loved me.
- My father saved me and his imperfection greatly benefited me.
- Unforgiveness was poisoning and leading me to death.
- The trials of my youth prepared me to be a steadfast and resourceful trench solider.
- I'm beautiful.
- Instability lead me to my sister.
- It's OK that I'm not perfect and continuously fall short.
- Happiness can't be found in the embrace of money.
- Hardship made me keenly aware and extremely sensitive to those who are in distress, disadvantaged and in need.
- When I look at you, you're as imperfect as me.
- Getting kicked out of school allowed me to find my best friend.
- The crumbling of my life in Detroit was necessary for me to find my destiny and many blessings in Orlando.
- I don't have to hide and can live in the light because I'm accepted and loved unconditionally.
- I have an Advocate who goes before me and petitions on my behalf. He levels mountains, rips down bars and subdues things that oppose me. He is my Helper and there's nothing a mere mortal can do to me.
We all have dark spots and sometimes our lives do not go according to plan. I want you to know it's normal, you don't have to be ashamed and the imperfect you is awesome and loved. Things have and will get shaky at times but don't look to the right or to the left. Instead, keep your eyes locked forward and on the truth and the light which guides and illuminates your path. Ignore the lie and allow the decay to nourish your life.
Kyle Christian Steele
I love this dude. Signed an imperfect sister who thanks God for allowing me a genuine relstionship with such an awesome man
ReplyDeleteRC Steele! Thank you!
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